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Internal Communications

Memos

Official dispatches from Hardly Working Corp. headquarters.

MEMO-2026-010April 11, 20263 min

We're Hiring: A Message from the Chief Slacking Officer

Hardly Working Corp. opens its doors to the public. The application is available for download. Standard onboarding procedure applies.

MEMO-2026-009April 7, 20264 min

Employee Wellness Update: The Case for Doing Nothing

A final report from the dissolved Department of Employee Morale. On burnout, guilt, and why the system — not you — is the problem.

MEMO-2026-008April 2, 20265 min

A Note on "Bullshit Jobs" — Required Reading for All Departments

David Graeber identified five types of pointless work. The Department of Professional Development asks: which one is yours?

MEMO-2026-007March 31, 20265 min

Q1 Performance Report: State of the Workforce

Sector breakdowns, category rankings, and the revelation that Looking Busy grew 340% quarter-over-quarter. Presented with the gravity of an earnings call.

MEMO-2026-006March 25, 20264 min

The Reclamation Index: Why We Don't Say 'Stealing'

A corporate language policy explaining why Hardly Working Corp. uses 'reclaimed' instead of 'stolen.' The underlying labor economics are noted without commentary.

MEMO-2026-005March 18, 20263 min

On the Subject of Bathroom Breaks

Bathroom breaks account for 11.3% of reclaimed time. The Department of Analytics has concerns. Management does not share them. Some things are sacred.

MEMO-2026-004March 10, 20264 min

Approved Activity Codes: A Classification Guide

The official guide to the 10 activity categories — from Coffee Run to Into the Void. Each one described with the gravity of a corporate compliance manual.

MEMO-2026-003February 28, 20264 min

Department of Research: The 2.9-Hour Finding

The average employee is productive for 2 hours and 53 minutes per day. The productivity industry spent $102 billion trying to change this. It didn't work.

MEMO-2026-002February 14, 20264 min

Q1 Employee Handbook: What Counts as "Work"?

An attempt to define 'work' that fails philosophically and succeeds diagnostically. Includes an 8-question self-assessment. Score 6+ and you're one of us.

MEMO-2026-001February 2, 20263 min

Notice of Incorporation: Hardly Working Corp. Is Open for Business

The founding announcement. A bland corporate press release about a new time reclamation firm — and a quiet manifesto about the gap between employment and productivity.

HARDLY WORKING CORP. · DEPT. OF INTERNAL COMMUNICATIONS · EST. 2026