We're Hiring!
Join the world's leading time reclamation firm. Track your breaks. Calculate your reclaimed wages. No experience required.
Hardly Working Corp. · Time Reclamation Solutions
click to take a break
EMPLOYEE TOOLKIT
Every new hire receives access to our full suite of time reclamation tools.
DEPT. OF TIME RECLAMATION
The Break Timer
Ten pre-approved activity codes. One tap to start a session. One tap to stop. The dollar value of your non-productive time accumulates in real time. Every entry is filed automatically.
01 / 06
APPROVED ACTIVITY CODES
All Hardly Working Corp. employees receive 10 pre-approved break categories. From innocent to existential. Promoted employees may create custom ones.
YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION
Three responsibilities. Zero accountability.
Clock In
Select your activity. Tap to start the break timer. Your shift at Hardly Working Corp. has begun.
Log Everything
Every session is recorded. Every minute counted. Every dollar of reclaimed wages calculated automatically.
File Your Report
Review your reclamation reports. Compare against industry benchmarks. Share your performance review.
=FORECAST(annual_reclamation)
The average Hardly Working Corp. employee reclaims $4,200 worth of time per year.
*Based on internal projections. Individual results vary by department.
EMPLOYEE TESTIMONIALS
FORM ES-4782 | REV. 3.1 | HARDLY WORKING CORP. DEPT. OF MORALE
“Hardly Working Corp. has completely transformed my relationship with productivity. My quarterly output has never been lower. HR has questions.”
Employee #4782
Office Drone · Joined Q1 2026
“I reclaimed $2,400 last quarter. My real employer's performance review says I'm 'exceeding expectations.' Both statements are somehow true.”
Anonymous Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat · Joined Q2 2026
“I downloaded this to understand what my team was doing. Now I use it more than they do. Requesting a transfer to the Reclamation Unit.”
Concerned Manager
Suit & Tie · Joined Q1 2026
“Best employer I've ever had. The onboarding was seamless. I used to feel guilty about bathroom breaks. Now I feel empowered.”
Reformed Workaholic
Tech Bro · Joined Q2 2026
* All testimonials are from fictional Hardly Working Corp. employees. Any resemblance to your actual coworkers is purely coincidental.
EMPLOYEE TIERS
All positions start free. Promotions are available for ambitious reclaimers.
Intern
Free
Permanent position. Zero expectations.
Included:
- ✓Full break timer (all 10 activity codes)
- ✓Today + This Week performance reports
- ✓Industry benchmarks summary
- ✓Join reclamation units (groups)
- ✓Share cards (with company watermark)
- ✓10 employee commendations (achievements)
Executive
$24.99
/year
7-day free trial (cancel anytime).
Founding offer!
Everything in Intern, plus:
- ✓Month, Year, Lifetime reports
- ✓Audit Findings (insights engine)
- ✓Personal records & category rankings
- ✓Full country & industry benchmarks
- ✓Create reclamation units (unlimited)
- ✓Custom activity codes
- ✓CSV data export
- ✓Premium share cards (no watermark)
- ✓5 executive-only commendations
Also available: $2.99/week (no trial period)
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
INTERNAL MEMO | REF: FAQ-HWC-2026 | HARDLY WORKING CORP. | CLASSIFICATION: PUBLIC
RECENT MEMOS
Latest dispatches from Internal Communications.
The Meeting That Could Have Been an Email
A Department of Operations taxonomy of six recurring non-meetings, a 'Should This Be a Meeting?' diagnostic, and a field guide to the phrases that hold modern meetings together.
Read memo →
The Meaning Deficit
The productivity crisis is actually a meaning crisis. A Department of Research memo on the mental-health cost of pointless work.
Read memo →
We're Hiring: A Message from the Chief Slacking Officer
Hardly Working Corp. opens its doors to the public. The application is available for download.
Read memo →
Your orientation is complete!
Welcome to Hardly Working Corp. Download the official app and start reclaiming immediately. Your other employer will never know. Probably.
Apply Now!